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Battlestargate 2005

By Aerosquid

Title: Battlestargate 2005
Author: Aerosquid
Word Count: 3,673
Date: 02/22/05
Rating: T
Category: Crossover (Stargate)
Spoilers/Disclaimers: Series One /

Onboard the Asgard Flagship, Samantha Carter

Thor knew of their plight, but could do nothing but wish them well. From the bridge of the Asgard flagship Samantha Carter, he watched the pitifully small convoy of the original twelve human worlds traveling at sub-light to their next jump-point into the edge of Replicator controlled space. Only thousands left out of billions. Billions descended from the first great epoch of humanity.

The Replicators will hopefully ignore them, hoped Thor, given their technological level. They possess faster-than-light propulsion framed by primitive electronic capability surpassed even by the emerging humans of Earth. But Earth had outside assistance, granted by the Asgard in the shadow of the Goa'uld and Replicator threats.

But the Colonies ! The Colonies had no such help. Save for their own rebellious bio-mechanical creations, they had suffered no great threat from outside the union. Little conflict amongst them bred no new advances out of wartime necessity, yet they have traveled the stars for centuries.

Thor knew of their plight and had to make a decision.

Aurora, Colorado

Daniel Jackson wiped the cheese string from his chin at the direction of Teal'c. It was beer and pizza night at Jack O’Neil’s apartment, though most of the beer was being consumed by Jack and the visiting Jonas Quinn. Daniel and Teal’c preferred high energy drinks. Tonight’s discussion: The cancellation of Star Trek: Enterprise.

“Face it Jack, there aren’t that many diverse species present in this galaxy.” Jonas Quinn wagged a finger at Brigadier General O’Neil. “It’s pretty much human transplants, Goa'uld./ Tok'ra, and the occasional unique quadra-ped. This whole Star Trek thing is pretty unrealistic.”

Jack finished another Colorado River Lager and turned his attention to Teal’c. “What do you think, big guy ?”

The Jaffa warrior indicated the Tivo replay of Enterprise’s last episode on Jack’s 50 inch HDTV. “I prefer Star Wars, General O’Neil.” Teal’c’s brow then creased in thought. “With the exception of the latest installments of the tale.”

“I think we can all agree on that.” Remarked Daniel. “Jack’s frustration is reality. There are no Klingons, Romulans, Vulcans or hundreds of other species to fight or interact with. Have you told your therapist about the time you tried to name an Asgard ship and the Prometheus ‘Enterprise’. ?

“That’s low, Daniel.” Said Jack, searching for another beer in the fridge. “The Ascendants called by the way, they want you back. Jonas, you’re rehired. ”

Jack tossed a beer to Jonas just missing Thor as he materialized in front of the television.

“Greetings, O’Neil. Has my arrival interrupted your gathering ?” Queried Thor.

“Down in front Thor! This is the part when Riker explains why he’s making a cameo appearance on Enterprise.” Said Jack. “Want a beer, Red Bull ?”

“No thank you. I have come to you with important news. Is Samantha Carter present ?”

“The ship or the Colonel ? No, she’s at the SGC tonight keeping the earth safe from Klingons.” Quipped Jack

“Klingons ? I have not been made aware…”

“One of General O’Neil’s…..jokes.” Interrupted Teal’c.

“So what’s the news Thor? Please don’t include the words: Replicator, Goa’uld……Tok’ra. We’re all ears. Present company excepted.”

“What is the current status of the Prometheus ?” Inquired Thor as he stared at a plate of pizza crusts.

“In orbit, waiting for a cool mission.”

“It is indeed a ‘cool’ mission, O’Neil. Doctor Jackson, can you…….”

“I’m already packed Thor !” said Daniel with a mouth full of pizza. “Ummmmmm… what are doing again ?”

“Escort duty.” Said Thor.

“Excuse me ? What or who are we ‘escorting’ ?”

“A convoy of ships that contain the last remnants of the original twelve colonies of humanity.” Announced Thor

Daniel Jackson stared at Thor for a good ten seconds and turned to General O’Neil. “Jack ? Can I have a beer ?”

Onboard Battlestar Galactica

“Colonel Tigh, inform the fleet that we will secure from FTL in 30 seconds.” Commander William Adama surveyed the Galactica’s bridge and wondered how long until his charges on the other ships would follow him to a place that only existed in legend. More of a lie than a legend. A lie that Earth’s location is known. A legend that Earth may have existed as the thirteenth colony.

“Securing from FTL.” Announced the OOD. “Scanning for contacts. Contacts! Multiple. Dead ahead.”

“Go to General Quarters.” Said Colonel Tigh, while glancing at Adama.

“Launch alert Vipers. Duty Officer, status of contacts ?” Asked Adama.

Lieutenant Gaeta shook her head. “I’m reading a debris field, sir. Intermittent Cylon power signatures and metallurgical indicators consistent with Cylon Base Ships. Something blew them to bits, Commander.”

Colonel Tigh turned to Commader Adama. “This isn’t good. We haven’t seen a Cylon in months and suddenly here they are.”

“But what destroyed them ? OOD, anything on long-range scans ?” Adama stood over Gaeta’s console and pushed back his glasses.

“Nothing, sir. Full spectral analysis of the debris field is coming in. Unknown elements not consistent with Cylon construction are present.”

“Interesting. Does anything come close to a match in Colonial ships ?” asked Adama

“No sir. Sir! Active contact, very small. Not Cylon, and not under power, 30 degrees to starboard, 53 KM distance.”

“Could be a mine, Commander. Recommend we target it before we end up as part of the debris field.”

“Negative Colonel. Let Apollo and Starbuck get a good visual.”

“Sir, deep scan of the object shows a life sign. Correction. Two life signs. One human, one indeterminate. They seemed to be linked together.”


Selket’s host clung to life, but only barely in the small escape pod. The damage had been so extensive that only a sarcophagus could restore Selket to health. But no sarcophagus was at hand. The silent enemy had left him adrift to die for good.

The System lord reflected on the events of the last hours. Vessels of unknown origin had been detected on the outer frontier , thus enraging the ancient Goa’uld to the degree that he would personally accompany the fleet to investigate such insolence.

Selket, a minor Goa’uld with only a few planetary systems to call his own, surmised that the more powerful of his species were making a grab for his small, yet secluded realm.

Upon encountering the intruders, Selket’s First Prime reported that scans revealed no active life forms or response to demands for identification.

Selket eye’s flared white with anger. Replicators! Other System Lords had encountered them and fell defeated. He would not allow this to happen to his kingdom. Selket ordered the deployment of all Death gliders and Ha'Tack to engage them. He would not be so easily relegated into history as his kin.

With his mothership standing off to view the inevitable victory of his fleet, Kon’ek, Selket’s First Prime loudly reported the appearance of hundreds of small attack vessels emerging from the large enemy ships like kree-bees. In moments, the relatively small squadron of Death gliders had been destroyed……by missiles. The shielded Ha’Tack assault vessels had faired better. Their plasma weapons had managed cut through one of the larger ship’s propulsion sections and set off a bright, and dangerously radioactive, explosion that had ripped through the remaining Goa’uld attackers.

Amid the confusion, Selket assumed that victory had been achieved and ordered the mother ship to advance so that he may strike the final blow against the remaining intruder.

As the electromagnetic pulse of the explosion from the first ship had dissipated, Kon’ek reported that the mother ship’s shield generator had gone off line and the small enemy attack ships had surrounded them. Uttering an ancient Goa’uld curse, Selket stood and turned to find the nearest escape pod access just as the bridge access door exploded inward. Two metallic beings of unknown origin stepped through the entrance accompanied by a blond haired human women attired in red.

Kon’ek and the bridge crew attempted to stop the intruders with staff weapons but were immediately cut down by the metal creatures. The woman calmly walked over to the bloodied Selket and stroked his face. She uttered something in unknown language but her face read curiosity. Distracted by a loud voice counting down a self-destruct sequence, the woman turned away from the Goa’uld as he reached for an access panel to the bridge escape pod .

As Selket jettisoned his pod as fast and far away from the mother ship as possible, he shielded his eyes from the imminent explosion that would take place and ultimately destroy the remaining enemy ship.

The system lord savored that moment and lamented not the loss of his fleet or the thousands of Jaffa that had loyally served him. The enemy had been destroyed utterly and completely.

Pain racked Selket’s host body. Hope for a rescue by rear echelon ships of his kingdom had faded into despair hours ago. As he drifted into unconsciousness, his last sight was that of a strong beam of light streaming through the window of the pod.

Starbuck Apollo

“Apollo to Galactica. Looks like a survival pod containing one human. He seems to be unconscious or dead. Can’t tell from here.” Apollo tapped on the escape pod’s window hoping to stir it’s lone occupant.

“Galactica to Apollo. Life signs confirmed. We are sending out a Raptor for retrieval.” Responded Lt. Gaeta.

“Hey Apollo! Is he good looking ?” Quipped Starbuck.

Apollo studied the figure. He wore green robe with silver trim, a large ornate amulet and a gold forehead decoration that resembled a beetle. No hair on his head, but he did sport a small tuft on his chin.

“He’s kind of fancy. Could be rolling in cubits. Definitely your type.”

“Meow.” Purred Starbuck. “So what do think happened here ?”

A limbless Cylon body floated within Starbuck’s peripheral vision. “A bad day for the Cylons to be sure. If this guy survives I’ll give him your last cigar.”

Starbuck grinned. “I’ve got a whole foot locker full of ‘last’ cigars. Something bother’s me though.”

“Beyond the fact that we are sitting in Cylon debris field with a human survivor.”?

“Yeah. Where did this human come from ? You know what I’m thinking Apollo.”

Apollo had to admit he had the same thought. “Earth.”


Daniel Jackson was deep in thought. This just didn’t make any sense at all. Thor’s brief history of the original twelve colonies of humanity had just thrown everything he had learned over the past several years into the cosmic dumpster. The Goa’uld he knew, and how they formed a large portion of Earth’s mythology, as did the Asgard, and to a degree, the Ancients. But Thor revealed a star-faring human civilization that predated all of them, save the Ancients.

The Cobol. Specifically the Cobol Crusade. As Thor explained, almost ten thousand years ago, the 12 unified leaders of the planet Cobol, dispatched hundred’s of ships to a known star system that supported 12 earthlike planets. Cobol was on the verge of death due to an instability in it’s sun that would render the planet uninhabitable within a few years. The 12 leaders agreed that in order to preserve the essence of Cobol, 12 fleets composed of the 12 separate ethnic groups should occupy the 12 planets. Though seemingly racist to the casual observer, the leaders of Cobol viewed the exodus as a completion of prophecy and preservation of the status quo. More like the preservation of the number 12, mused Daniel. Thor further explained that a renegade 13th group comprised of elements from the 12, struck out on there own to a planet outside the planned exodus. The planet had been discovered by early probes and named ‘Terra’ or ‘Earth’.

The 12 leaders of Cobol, later referred to as the Lord’s of Cobol, wished them well and cryptically entered them into the Book of Cobol as the 13th colony. They were never spoken of in a public discourse again.

“Pretty bizarre, huh ?” Jonas Quinn read the same synopsis as Daniel. “Here you’ve been studying the progress of humans taken from Earth and transplanted throughout perhaps two galaxies by various other beings and now you get to learn the origins of humanity on Earth.”

“I still believe that the Ancients had a hand in this somewhere, Jonas.” Daniel shook his head and sighed. “I’m trying to fit them in all of this.”

“Maybe the Cobol were the Ancients, Daniel.”

“No. That just doesn’t fit. The Ancients created the Star Gate system and eventually became Ascendants. Remember I was one while you held my job for me?”

“Yeah, that was fun. How about we wait until we actually meet up with them and then compare notes. Your brain is going into overload Daniel.”

“And what the hell are these ‘Cylons’ ?”


“Huh ?”


Lt General Hammond would not miss this opportunity and decided that some time’s it’s good to be king. He sat down in the command chair of the Prometheus and smiled.

“Your grinning like a cat with a fat rat, George.” Jack O’Neil whispered out of ear shot of the bridge crew.

Hammond looked up at the junior General with a gleam in his eye. “As you were Number One. Let’s get underway.”

“Now you tell me you’re a Trek fan.” General O’Neil responded. “Helm, set a course for Vulcan, Warp Two! Well, okay make that the coordinates that Thor gave us.”

Samantha Carter, Jonas Quinn and Daniel Jackson entered the bridge and took seats around General O’Neil. “Thor provided us with a visual recording of the Cobol fleet and some of the technical specs.”

“Let’s take a look Colonel.” Said Hammond

Carter brought up the video that had been uploaded from Thor’s ship onto the main screen.

“It’s like Thor said; a convoy. The vessel’s all are hyperdrive capable, however they can only jump for short bursts. In some areas of technology, they are at least a century ahead of us and in others, about twenty years behind, however they have had hyper-drive for thousands of years according to Thor. I suspect that due to the lack of armed conflict among the 12 colonies and given their isolation from outside threats, technology slowed to a crawl.”

“No necessity. No mother of invention.” Remarked Jonas

“Exactly. Look at Earth’s progression over the last 100 years. Two world wars, a cold war and various other conflicts have spawned technology that by all rights we should not have at this point in history.”

“And that’s not counting in what’s occurred since the Star Gate was activated.” Said Jonas. “Look at what it did to my world. We were on par with your 1930’s. Next thing, we had technology that could have brought peace and exploration, but put us on the edge of destruction.”

“Thor also mentioned that the Cobol actually throttled back on certain aspects of technology .”

“The A.I. embargo.” Said Hammond.

“Yes sir. That brings us to the Cylons.” Carter brought up several images of Cylons from the last two hundred years. The earliest images seemed little more than toasters. As time progressed, they evolved into walking toasters that served human masters in areas of household maintenance to law enforcement.

“Eventually,” Carter continued “The Cylons rebelled and started killing humans. In a nutshell, the Cobol united to drive away their own creation. The whole Cobol military industrial complex had been created to defend against them. Previously, the Cobol had little more than a ‘Coast Guard’ that protected intercolonial trade and travel .”

“And that ‘Coast Guard’ had been comprised mostly of Cylons and human ‘Overseers’.” Added Jonas.

“The humans could not handle emergent artificial intelligence. Not to be flippant General, but imagine your barbeque grill refusing to work or going so far as to suggest Tofu instead of beef ribs during your SGC Labor Day cookout.” Said Carter.

Hammond, a son of Texas, considered this and grinned. “I think I understand, Colonel. Dr. Jackson, you’ve been pretty quiet. Inputs?”

“General, you will have to excuse me, but I’m having problems with the timeline aspect and the thirteenth colony. If what Thor has told us is true, the Earth colony, in fact, were the Ancients who created the original Star Gate technology.”

In a flash of light, Thor appeared on the bridge of the Prometheus.

“Oh hey, It’s Thor.” Remarked O’Neil. “Say Thor, who created the Star Gate ?”

“The Ancients, of course.” Said Thor.

“Are the thirteenth colony guys the Ancients ?”

“No. The Ancients have been on Earth much longer. The colony appeared during the Epoch of Atlantis.” responded the Asgard commander.

“See Daniel? All you had to do was ask.” Jack leaned back in his chair and marked the air with his index finger

“But the Ancients were human !” protested Daniel. “Where did the Ancients originate?”


“Okay, where did the Cobol originate ?” asked Daniel


“Ooooooh.” Jack remarked

“So some Ancients actually left Earth, colonized Cobol, left Cobol, colonized 12 planets, and the 13th colony returned to Earth.” Daniel was now pacing the bridge, arms gesturing wildly.

“No.” said Thor

“No. What?” Daniel stopped pacing.

“This ought to be good.” Jonas whispered to Samantha Carter.

“The ‘Cobol’ were a subset of humanity. You refer to them as Neanderthal.”

“Watch Daniel’s brain explode.” Jonas said to Teal’c.

“Indeed.” Agreed the Jaffa warrior

“So you’re saying ‘cavemen’ launched out into space, evolved and became the Cobol ?”

“Essentially. These ‘cavemen’ were in constant conflict with the fully evolved humans of Earth. The Cobol constructed vessels and set out for a home of there own.” Explained Thor.

Jack and Jonas suppressed their giggles.

“So Thor…..” started Jack “They built spaceships out of logs……and skins.”

Thor looked at Jack and said nothing.

“Doctor Jackson, if you are through asking questions of our guest, I do believe we should get down to business.” Said General Hammond.

“But General, I don’t……..”

“Doctor Jackson, please, you can tear up your copy of Darwin’s ‘Origin of the Species’ later. Thor?”

“Thank you General Hammond. We may have a small problem when we encounter the Cobol fleet.”

“Here we go.” Said Jack under his breath.


The escape pod had been placed in Galactica’s Viper bay and isolated until Decon teams could determine any biological or radiological threat to the crew. It’s single occupant had been removed and placed into a portable medical tent under the care of Doctor Cottle.

“We’re all clear, Doctor.” Announced a proximity suited technician.

Gaius Baltar studied the alien pod with genuine interest. Commander Adama wanted answers and, of course, good ol’ Gaius ‘Cylon Hunter’ Baltar was awakened from a pleasant sleep to provide those answers.

Eject it Gaius ! Tell them it’s dangerous and just eject it.

Gaius noticed real panic in his ‘imaginary’ friend’s demeanor and smiled. Number Six, Gaius Baltar’s cylon avatar, stood between him and the pod.

“What’s wrong, are you actually afraid of this new player in this game of galactic intrigue.” Gaius let out a little laugh and walked around her.

He stuck his head into the entrance of the pod and looked around. He noted an abundance of gold plating inside and a small control panel that appeared to hold some sort of multi-colored crystal rod array. Other than that, might as well give it to Chief Tyrol to add to his collection of space oddities.

Gaius walked to the medical tent to get a look at the ‘pilot’ and maybe gather some further insight as to the pod’s inner workings.

GAIUS ! I am serious ! Stay away from all of this!

“Sorry, my dear. Sometimes Doctor Baltar just has to take a vacation from you.” Said Gaius as he entered the tent.

Inside, Doctor Cottle and Galactica’s Med Techs worked feverishly over the strange human. Gaius noted from the readings on the medical diagnosis suite surrounding the patient, that he would not be getting any technical information anytime soon. Or ever.

“Gaius!” yelled Cottle. “Hand me the defib paddles in the orange case. Quickly!”

Baltar complied and watched the medical team try and revive the patient through the miracle of electro-shock directly to the heart. The body of the alien twitched as Cottle zapped him repeatedly.

“No good. He’s gone.” Cottle announced to the corpsmen. “I’ll contact Commander Adama and the President. Get him up to medical for the post-mortem so I can see what that parasite is surrounding his brain stem. I’ll bet anything, that thing had a lot to do with his death.”

“Tough luck, Doctor. This just adds to the mystery, I guess.” Remarked Baltar.

“Yeah. I guess. I need a cigarette.” Cottle walked out of the tent to break the news to Adama.

Baltar walked up to the gurney and stared down at the deceased alien. Alien? He sure looks human enough, thought Gaius. Not much for the latest fashions, he noted from the ornate robe and jewelry. Is that a beetle tattoo on his head ?

He bent over closer to study the unusual design.


In a blur, something had happened. Something bad, Gaius thought. Something jumped out of the body and it was now inside of him. My throat hurts, he pondered as his vision faded into black.


Number Six stared at Baltar. His head hung low as he staggered around the gurney.

Gaius, talk to me. Can you still hear me ?

Baltar’s head rose up and his eyes flashed white.

“Kel ShaNoc'ri'ton ! Kree!”

Number Six noted with terror that this was no longer Gaius Baltar. His voice was now a deep reverberation of the original. And to make matters worse, she thought, whatever had invaded Gaius’ body could see her.