Word Count: 4,405
Pairing/Focus: Lee, Laura
Summary: This is A/U. Shout out to Heather for doing the beta thing for me!
Spoilers/Disclaimers: Kobol’s Last Gleaming (Pt 2). I borrowed the characters from BSG, they belong to Ronald D. Moore and Universal Studios. I also borrowed the premise of 50 First Dates. No infringement intended. Don’t sue.
Roslin opens her eyes expecting to see the bars of her prison cell; instead, she’s confronted by a pale yellow wall with a painting of Caprica City hanging on it. Where the hell am I? And how did I get here? Laura then realises that she’s wearing her blue negligee. Fear seizes her. What had happened to the pyjama’s she’d gone to bed in? She remembers falling asleep in her cell in the Brig and that’s all she can recall… there’s nothing in-between. No memory.
Laura hears the sound of gentle breathing and a shiver runs through her body as she realises someone is in the bed beside her. She takes a breath and slowly turns to see Lee Adama lying next to her, fast asleep. She sits up with a jolt that stirs the viper pilot from slumber.
Lee smiles groggily at her. “Morning,” he says brightly, as if waking-up beside her is usual.
Roslin throws back the covers and gets out of the bed, suddenly feeling exposed as she stands before him in her skimpy nightdress. Her heart is pounding and she feels light-headed with confusion. “Captain Apollo… what’s going on? What am I doing here?” she asks.
Lee sits up and reaches for a scrapbook on his bedside table. He holds it out to her. Laura hesitates, then moves towards the bed and takes the book from him, she glances down at the title, “Lost Memories,” which is written in her own hand. Roslin stares at Apollo with bewilderment.
“Read it,” he advises. “Everything will make sense then.”
Lee gets out of bed and disappears through a door that leads to a bathroom.
Laura peers down at the scrapbook and opens it to the first page. She sees photographs of herself lying in a hospital bed, her own handwriting underneath informing her that she had been knocked unconscious when Galactica had come under fire from a Cylon attack… Laura sifts through numerous pages, each containing Colonial newspaper clippings reporting the Cylon attack and articles on how her short-term memory had been permanently destroyed as a result of the blow to her head.
The second half of the scrapbook is filled with diary entries about her life with Apollo. There are photographs of her with her arms about Lee, they’re both smiling and looking adoringly at each other. Then there’s a picture of her in a wedding dress standing beside Apollo. Billy, Starbuck and Elosha are in the background, looking merry. A slip of paper lies between the pages: her marriage certificate to Lee Adama.
Closing the book, Laura raises her left hand to see the simple gold band on her finger. She sucks in a deep breath. This can’t be real!
Lee walks out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, and smiles at her. Laura usually likes to be alone when she reads the scrapbook, so he always uses that time to shower and prepare what he’s going to say to her. No two days are the same, sometimes she reacts more strongly than others… today she seems relatively calm.
Roslin averts her eyes at the sight of Lee’s bare chest, still glistening with droplets of water. He sits on the bed in front of her. Her gaze returns to him, her eyes run over his muscular torso and she feels embarrassed by her baser instincts and the sordid thoughts racing through her mind.
“Is there anything you want to ask me?” Apollo says with practised ease.
Her grip tightens on the scrapbook. “How long have we been married?”
She stares at him in amazement. “Two months?”
He nods. “You were in the life-station for a month… that’s when we sort of dated. We didn’t want to wait because of the cancer and because we weren’t sure when the next Cylon attack would be.”
She shakes her head. “I can’t… I can’t remember. Not any of it!” There’s fear and distress in her voice.
Lee stands and cups her face with both hands. “It’s okay, Laura,” he promises and his eyes are so sure, so tender as he holds her gaze. “You won’t remember, at night your short-term memory is erased. Everyday you wake up and you think it’s the day after my father had you arrested, but I’m here and I’ll help you get through it, okay?”
Her eyes well up. “I do this everyday? I mean – you have to explain this to me everyday?” in turn she’s shocked, puzzled and then distraught.
He strokes her cheek, trying to sooth her.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, suddenly feeling like a burden.
He smiles. “You’ve nothing to be sorry for, I love you.”
She can’t get used to the way Apollo is looking at her. The last time she had set eyes on him… No. The last time she remembers setting eyes on him, Lee had stepped in front of her to protect her from Adama’s troops and now – now she was married to him?
Laura didn’t know what to believe. Was she dreaming? Was this a Kalama-induced hallucination? Was this a ruse of some sort? It couldn’t be: she trusted Lee and he would never take part in something like that. Maybe she was still lying unconscious in a hospital bed and this was… what? Her subconscious telling her what she already knew. That she was in love with someone she had no hope of ever having.
Becoming acutely aware that they’re next to a bed with just a shred of clothing separating them, Laura’s pulse quickens. Lee sees it in her eyes, the longing, so she pulls away from him in alarm. She tries to regain her calm. She has to pull herself together. ‘Think, Laura! Think!’
She sets the scrapbook down and Lee watches her pace in front of him. Unconsciously she rubs her bare arms, then comes to a standstill.
“Where are we?” she enquires.
“Galactica,” Lee replies and crosses the room.
She watches him open the door to a wardrobe and sees her clothing lined up next to his. Lee pulls her blue robe from a hanger and holds it out to her. Laura smiles gratefully at him as she takes the robe and slips it on, tying the belt securely around her waist.
“What happened to the charges against us?”
“Tigh dropped all charges and released both of us - he didn’t have much choice what with half the fleet destroyed. He needed all hands on deck.” Apollo explains.
Laura is devastated. “Half the fleet?”
“There’s only 20,000 of us left now,” he informs her gravely.
“Billy?” she says fearfully.
Roslin feels a flood of relief, then her muscles tighten again as she remembers the assassination attempt on Adama. “What happened to your father? Is he alright?”
The Captain looks away. “He didn’t make it. His injuries were too extensive, there was nothing the doctor could do.”
Instinctively Roslin steps closer to Lee and puts a comforting hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry, Captain Apollo.”
He shrugs, still unable to process exactly how he feels about that day. Guilt and grief combined. Anger and frustration at being helpless to prevent it.
His skin is hot beneath her palm; self-consciously she draws her hand away from him and lowers her arm to her side. “Who’s in command of the military now?” she inquires.
Laura’s eyes widen. “And the Presidency?”
Laura shakes her head in disbelief. “What happened to Zarek?”
“The Astral Queen was one of the first ships hit, it was obliterated, no survivors.”
She finds herself stilled by this. Her voice is weak. “Earth?”
“We haven’t found it… Baltar says he knows where it is, that he’s leading us there, but so far…”
Only yesterday the world had made sense… well, kind of made sense… now it was complete chaos in her brain. That’s when it hits her. “This is real, isn’t it?” she almost chokes on the words. She searches his face. “My loss of memory, the fleet in tatters, our marriage - this is all actually happening?”
A tremor runs through her. She feels an overwhelming need to be held. She looks at Lee, discarding all sense of embarrassment. “Captain Apollo, could you - ”
Before she finishes her sentence, she feels his warm arms enfold her. Laura holds onto him tightly. She closes her eyes as he rubs her back, rocking her ever so slightly to and fro. She wonders how many times she’s asked Lee to hold her in much the same way. Maybe never, maybe every time he’s told her.
After a few moments she whispers. “I’m okay now,” and he releases her.
They hold each other’s gaze and she sees his eyes are filled with desire. Laura feels her throat become dry and the sound of blood pounds through her ears as his body presses full-length against hers and he snakes an arm around her waist. She’s scared because she doesn’t want him to stop, she wants to lose herself in him, wants to permanently shut the world out.
Apollo brushes her hair off her shoulder and trails kisses down her throat as he whispers. “I know your favourite season is autumn, that lilies make you sneeze, you sing ‘Your Troubles Are Behind You’ in your head when you’re nervous and that when you were eight years old you wanted to be a doctor so that you could find a cure for cancer. I know you used to keep a picture of your inauguration in the top drawer of your desk so that you could look at me whenever you wanted – I know that you wanted to kiss me when you asked me to be your personal advisor. That after I walked in on you in your negligee… you couldn’t deny your feelings anymore, so you tried to put distance between us – tried to avoid me altogether. I know your fears and your fantasies, Laura, I know what you want from me, what you need and I’m here, I’m yours now. We belong to each other.”
She draws back in his arms and her eyes burn with intensity. “How?”
He smiles broadly. “You told me.”
Laura snares his neck and seeks his lips; his mouth is hot on hers and his touch sensual. Lee proceeds carefully; he wants her to feel comfortable, he’s learnt to take it at her pace because each day is different. Some days she wants him, some days she’s overwhelmed, some days she doesn’t believe him and they have to go visit the doctor for further proof. Some days she won’t let him near her at all and other day’s she won’t let him leave her side. So, it’s always safer to let her set the pace.
He draws back from the kiss and traces her jaw with his fingertips. “How about breakfast?”
She nods. He heads towards the kitchen area when she catches his arm. “Um, Captain Apollo – I know we’re married and I’ve probably seen you au naturel many times but would you mind putting… um… something on?”
Lee looks down at the towel wrapped around his waist, which is flimsy in the extreme, and restrains a smirk. “Sure,” he agrees.
Laura keeps her back to him as he heads towards the wardrobe, casts off the towel, slips on a white undershirt and pulls on boxers and a pair of military issue trousers. He returns to her side and touches her shoulder. “Okay?”
“Thank you,” she says appreciatively.
He kisses her temple lightly and then heads back into the kitchen area to prepare breakfast; he always cooks them breakfast because it takes a while for her to familiarize herself with where everything is.
Over breakfast, they make plans for the day and when they’ve finished eating, they clear the dishes away and Laura decides to investigate their quarters. Apollo sits at the table and watches her with fascination; she never does anything the same way. There is always variation in her actions and behaviour and he loves that she’s still unpredictable; that she keeps him on his toes.
Laura opens cupboards, drawers, hatches… gets a sense of their living space, then she stops in front of the watercolour painting of Caprica and looks over her shoulder at him. “This is my favourite view of Caprica City,” she tells Lee.
“It was a wedding present from Billy. He had it commissioned, the painter used a photograph from a book.”
She glances at Captain Apollo. Lee. Her husband. She smiles brightly. “We’re married! This is so surreal!”
Apollo grins, she was starting to let her guard down.
He glimpses the time. “It’s nearly ten,” he informs her.
“I need to get ready,” she says as she crosses the main room and enters the bathroom.
She locks the door behind her and shuts her eyes for a moment, takes a deep breath, then opens her eyes and turns to see her toothbrush resting with his in a glass above the sink. She stares at them for a long time, then opens the bathroom cabinet - her medication is on the top shelf… she closes the cabinet and looks about the room. All her things are here - soap, shampoo, conditioner, perfume, flannel and suddenly she feels like a stranger in her own life. She wants to scream. She finally has what she’s always wanted and fate has taken away her ability to remember it.
Laura strips off and steps into the shower, it takes her a moment to figure out how to adjust the temperature and she sighs in annoyance, wondering how much time she wastes every morning figuring it out anew. She closes her eyes and lets the soothing water flood her body. She reaches for her flannel and washes away her feelings of anger and resentment; she only has today, she doesn’t want to waste it, doesn’t want to throw away this time with Lee.
Feeling clean and rejuvenated, Roslin reaches for a towel and sees his dressing gown hanging on the back of the door. She pats herself dry and slips his robe on, breathing in the scent of him which is ingrained in the material. She smiles to herself, then unlocks the door and exits the bathroom.
Lee is fully dressed in his uniform and sitting on the bed. Their bed. As she nears, his eyes run up her body, he sucks in a breath. “You keep doing that,” he says huskily.
“Doing what?” she asks innocently.
“Wearing my dressing gown.”
He reaches out and hooks his finger through one of the dressing gown’s belt loops. With a quick movement, he pulls Laura onto his lap and wraps his arms around her waist.
Roslin grins. “You’re going to have to pin a note to it, warning me not to!”
Lee buries his face in her hair. “I did - but you look so damned sexy in it, I threw the note away!”
She laughs as she places her hands flat against his chest. “I need to get dressed,” she murmurs and manoeuvres herself to her feet. He allows her to pull away from him and Laura moves to stand before the wardrobe; she opens its doors and locates her deep purple suit and white blouse. She pulls the items of clothing off their hangers and places them on the bedspread.
“Where’s my underwear?” she asks the viper pilot.
“Second drawer of the dresser,” he informs her with a wry smile.
Laura opens the drawer and pulls out a black bra and panties. She turns to Apollo, expecting him to look the other way. He doesn’t. She decides that being coy is pointless and expertly slips her underpants on under the robe, grinning at the look of disappointment on Lee’s face.
Then, for his benefit, she slowly loosens the belt of his dressing gown, gradually the flesh of her belly and breasts are exposed. Lee watches her intently and Laura feels her inhibitions fade. She shrugs out of the dressing gown and lets it fall to the floor. His eyes roam her body as she reaches for her bra and seductively fastens the clasp behind her back, then leisurely pulls the straps in place over her shoulders.
Apollo sighs as she stretches to reach her skirt. Laura unfastens the zip and steps into the skirt, tugging it up over her hips and slowly inches the zip up. Next, she slips the white blouse over her head and tucks it into her waistband. With her right hand she gathers her hair and tugs it free of her blouse collar.
Lee is jealous of every item of clothing she’s wearing; especially the figure hugging blouse. Then thinks maybe he should take a cold shower before they set out; the elegant beauty of Laura Roslin always raises his temperature.
Roslin steps into her heels. “Ready!” she announces.
He grins, deciding that he loves married life.
They leave their quarters and walk to the flight deck. They board the next shuttle to Cloud 9, one of the few ships to have survived the last Cylon assault.
Once aboard the luxury liner, they take a stroll through the woods, hold hands and venture the occasional kiss. Laura tries to get over her shyness at being publicly affectionate with him, it feels awkward when people she knows walk past but no one stares or shoots them disapproving looks - people just smile and wave.
At lunchtime they head back to Galactica and meet Billy in the Mess Hall, Lee soon excuses himself, he has an afternoon CIC shift. He kisses his wife’s cheek in farewell and leaves her to catch-up with Billy.
The former President sips a glass of water as they wait for their food to arrive. Billy gives her an up-date on his career – he’s still aide to the President, but Baltar is a little less ‘together’ than Roslin was. Then Keikeya breaks the news about Dualla’s pregnancy to her for the sixth or was it the seventh time? He’s lost track.
Laura always cries when he tells her. She hugs him and congratulates him and Billy smiles every time because Roslin’s joy for him is always so pure.
* * * * * *
Lee has set the mood perfectly; the table is covered in a red cloth, the lights are dim and two candles flicker, a bottle of chilled wine rests in a bucket of ice beside the table and a single red rose in a crystal vase is the centrepiece.
There’s a knock at the door. Lee checks his reflection in the mirror and then opens the hatch to Laura.
“You don’t have to knock – you live here!” he exclaims.
She shrugs diffidently. “This is still new to me. Just now I nearly got on a shuttle to go to Colonial One, but fortunately Billy was there to stop me!”
As Laura walks past Lee she kisses him; she could get used to this all too easily. Apollo closes the hatch after her.
She stops dead when she sees the magnificently set dining table. Her eyes soften as she looks over her shoulder at him. “What did I do to deserve such pampering?”
He takes the rose from the vase and holds it out to her. “I just felt like spoiling you.”
She smiles. “Lee, you didn’t have to go to all this effort - ”
“I wanted to.”
Taking the offered rose, Roslin kisses him again, her arms drape around his neck. They draw apart. “You don’t have to prove anything to me,” Laura says gently.
Lee’s hands slip down her body and rest on her lower back. “I know.”
They sit down to dinner and during the meal they discuss his promotion to XO, then he regales her with stories of the good old days in the CAG and she listens intently, trying to commit it all to memory, but she knows her memory will be wiped clean while she sleeps tonight and she feels cheated, feels indignant because she wants to know him as well as he knows her. She wants to be familiar with Lee’s habits, his moods, his dreams and aspirations, his fantasies, the scars on his skin, the way he likes to be touched…
Apollo notices the remote look in her eyes. “Laura?” he calls gently. “What is it?”
Roslin stares at him desolately. “I just… I don’t want to forget today.”
Apollo takes her hand. “I’ll remember for both of us,” he promises.
She smiles sadly. “I hope so because I won’t be able to remind you.”
Lee stands up and pulls her to her feet. She embraces him and he kisses the top of her head; he’s never loved anyone this fiercely before. Lee draws back to look in her eyes, then tilts his head and captures her lips. Laura feels the hunger in his kiss, feels his mouth demand from her the longing she’s held back for so long. His hands move up her back and get lost in her hair, tingles spread like wildfire through her limbs and spark a heat between her legs.
Apollo’s fingers glide down her back and reach the waistband of her skirt, his fingertips skim beneath it and pull her blouse loose, then his hands slip under the soft material to stroke bare skin, trailing slowly up her sides to caress her breasts. Laura moans, pushing him backwards towards their bed.
They discard their clothing amidst kisses and fervour. Lee is soon between her legs; Laura runs her hands up his spine and clutches his shoulders as he enters her.
She murmurs “Captain Apollo,” over and over.
He teases her earlobe with his tongue and whispers. “Lee... call me Lee…”
She moves her hips in time with his and when she calls out “Lee”, his thrusts quicken, his breath shortens and as she arches against him, he feels himself nearing release. He kisses her neck, savouring the taste of her skin. She throws her head back and Lee feels her body tense in his arms as she contracts around him. Instinctively her legs wrap around him, pushing him deeper inside her. She lets out a deep-throated cry as she reaches orgasm and the sound of her voice sends him over the edge into his own release.
He lies on top of her, spent. Laura’s breathing starts to even out and she idly runs her fingers through his hair. Lee raises his head from her neck and smiles at her, then kisses her deeply.
“Do we make love often?” she asks.
“Yes,” he replies.
“I’m glad,” she whispers.
Apollo gently withdraws from her and lies beside her. Laura cuddles-up to him, she finds it comforting being this wanted, this loved. As she feels herself about to drift into sleep, she forces her eyes to open and sits up.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, concerned.
“I have to write it down,” she says urgently.
Lee kisses her sweetly. When they separate, he tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and then reaches for the scrapbook on his bedside table. He hands it and a pen to her. Laura smiles and he watches as she makes a new diary entry, adding the rose he gave her this evening to the pages; ink and paper preserving what her memory can’t.
When she’s finished he returns the scrapbook to his beside table and they lie down together. Laura feels overcome with a strange calmness. She puts her arms around Lee and nestles close to him, relishing the feel of his skin against hers and closes her eyes. Now she’s ready for sleep.
Sometimes Apollo watches her through the night. He studies her, strokes her hair, caresses her skin, breathes her in. He’s afraid that if he falls asleep she’ll disappear, that she’ll be taken away, that one day she’ll wake up and not let him love her, and that’s his greatest fear.
* * * * * *
Roslin opens her eyes and stares at the ceiling. She’s lying on her back, feeling rested and tranquil which surprises her after the strain of yesterday’s events. She really hadn’t expected Adama to send armed forces after her and she certainly hadn’t expected Captain Apollo to sacrifice himself for her.
Laura stretches, she folds her arms behind her head and suddenly realises that she’s naked. She frowns, then she turns her head to the right and is met with a pale yellow wall, a watercolour painting of Caprica City hanging on it and she’s besieged with panic as she realises she’s not in her cell… Where the hell am I? And what happened to my pyjamas? She feels movement next to her. A tremor of fear rips through her body and she turns quickly to see Lee Adama lying beside her.
He’s positioned on his side, facing her. His clear blue eyes sparkle as he smiles lovingly at her. “Morning.”
Roslin sits bolt upright and pulls the sheet about her. “Why are you…? I’m not wearing anything… did we?” but Laura already knows the answer, she can feel it between her legs. She narrows her eyes in confusion, trying desperately to remember. The last thing she can recall is being in her cell in the Brig and then it’s blank. No memory.
“How did I get here? What happened? How did we end up in bed together? Where’s my clothing?” she asks, her questions running together in her rush to get answers.
Lee sits up and lifts a scrapbook from his bedside table; he holds it out to her saying. “It’s alright. This will explain everything.”
Laura takes the book from him and is too dazed to react when he kisses her cheek. Lee gets out of the bed and crosses the room to a door which leads to a bathroom. Laura looks down at the scrapbook in her hands and her brow furrows as she sees the title, “Lost Memories,” is written in her own hand. She opens it to the first page.