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Come and Gone

By xliquidforcex

Word Count: 1,120
Date: 07/03/05
Series: Future
Rating: K
Category: AU
Pairing/Focus: Lee, Kara
Warnings: Nothing graphic
Spoilers/Disclaimers: I would recommend you read Final Moments first. Companion fic or sequel to that one. Archiving- BSG 2003, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, all other's please ask 

He remembers the first time he saw her. It had been many years ago. She was a beautiful young woman, not much older than he appeared to be. It started out as an accident, when she was in a hurry to get away from someone. He remembers her smile, able to light up the room. But he also remembers that when she wanted to, she could freeze the room too.

It was training, he was told by God. Training for the future. But unlike him, her time would run out. But her smile never gave that away. Over time, her smile became warmer to him, as if it was only for him. He never knew love, but from what God had told him, it was as close as he could get. He would end up loosing it.

That same day, there was an accident with a fellow model. It was a field test. That same test ended up killing her. Somehow, even though he wasn't there, he felt her go. It was like the sun had been put out, it all of a sudden became cold. But, God gave him other things to do, and for a time, he forgot about her.

Then there she was again. She didn't remember him, but that was all right. Her form was still the same, just like him. This time, he was ready. They spent their days in the fields together, on picnics. Each day was cherished, because he knew that something would happen to her.

This time, it wasn't another model that killed her. He did. God had ordered him to, to experience death of another. It hadn't been easy. But he could not disobey God. He didn't cry. She died loving him. His sun once again disappeared, and once again, he nearly forgot.

So went the cycle of their relationship. At times, his current form wore out, only to be replaced by another. Over and over until they met again, only for her to be claimed by another. His mission then became clear. He was supposed to be a form of another human, only to replace him to carry out the mission of God. He waited. He had waited so long for this cycle. He would wait some more, until he could claim her as his own.

He muses that he has fallen for a pagan; one who does not belong with his kind. But he cannot deny the attraction between them. He cannot deny the lust that lies just beneath the surface. At times, he is so close to grab her and show her all the love that he has held for her since the beginning of them both.

But there will be problems. For one, he is under watchful eyes now. He cannot risk his cover blown. Next, with the help of his fellow sister, Six, he must keep an eye on Dr. Baltar, the ever present traitor to the other race. But in the end, it will be inevitable. They will fall. And he will lose her once again.

A choice must then be made. She jumps away, and he transfers his vision to another model. He almost kills her, but not before she kills him first. He knows through their faint connection that she loves him. The walls that she hides behind him are his to crumble. He watches her as she interacts with the other males of her species. It makes him angry, yet he does nothing. She knows now, and that will be easier for her to understand.

Upon returning to the fleet, he is sure to greet her first. Of course, there must be some cover for why he is going to kiss her. Her fear is barely noticeable. His pride in his love for her and to know that she is alive is also barely noticeable. In front of everyone, he lays his claim on her. Now, all that is left is to get rid of that man who caused her so much pain.

Baltar is too easy to get rid of. He leaves him in the care of his sister, Six. He trusts that she will do what is necessary to make sure he never does that to his human ever again. God has informed him of what he must do next. And it will be the end for her, yet again.

He is slow and gentle with her, even as he holds her for the first and last time. This hasn't been the first time they have done this together, and she knows this because she remembers. Small bits and pieces, yes, but still.

Her moans are sweet, and he is sure that this will kill him even more to have her leave his arms when she only gets there. Tears fall from her face, when she realizes what he has been asked to do. The message is clear. Hold me, even if this is the last time. He is quick to give into her request, and drops to the floor with her.

The intimacy between them has not changed. Their exchange of words means so little to him than the embrace that she holds him in. It chases away tomorrow, yesterday and now. All that he can think about is her. How all of his hopes and dreams of them being together are gone.

Her last words to him are "I'll be waiting." He smiles a sad smile, before death tears her away from him. He feels her skin, warm and her smile of promise before he awakens in another body. God is pleased with him. New tasks are given, but his mind is only half on them. The rest of him clings to her memory. She died for him willingly. And he will find her again, even in a world where his kind thrives.

They find her, later among those whom they take life from. Even as she rests in sleep, he cradles her close to him. It was a miracle that she survived, frozen in ice like many others.

Even though she will never awaken, and he will never let his brethren take her away, she is still with him. Her mind is linked with his, and she smiles, ever knowing. They have all the time in the world. She may never awaken among his people, but for him, her mind is always open. God accepts this, and allows him to come and go with her as he pleases. Though he and God can only see her, he loves her to no end. He cannot wait for the next cycle, when he doesn't have to pretend anymore. He will never forget, and he will always love her. Always.