Word Count: 7,654
Warnings: Nothing graphic
Spoilers/Disclaimers: None that I know of. Please reply if you think so. Archiving- BSG 2003, Apollo/Starbuck Fan Fic, all other's please ask
She doesn't realize what he is until it's too late.
There have always been signs, that he was one of them. But the one that she remembers most of all is the memories.
She sees glimpses everyday, of her. And him. Always of him too. She sees him smile the same smile, and she is always laughing, and yet guarding against him. She sees Caprica, only years before her time. And that's when she sees it. The same red spark in his eyes that she has seen before. And that is when she dies.
She wonders if it is just her imagination. Maybe, but when he smiles at her, a sense of ice washes over her, even as she smiles back. When she jumps away, she thinks she is safe.
They see each other on Caprica. He is smiling, even as he draws his gun. Out of safety, she pulls the trigger first, her eyes closed even as he falls, still smiling.
In her dreams, before she returns, she sees him there. Funny how things turned out. I always killed you before, and yet you kill me now. She wakes up in cold sweat, and decides she has to go back.
As she lands the heavy raider in the hanger, she realizes that no one will believe her if she tells them that he is actually one of them. But keeping it to herself won't be any easier. But she does, because something within her tells her too. And no matter what she does, she cannot pull that trigger on him again. It hurt her too much. So when he approaches, she tries her best to look normal.
He looks at her shocked, but she senses pride underneath it. She sees something in him snap, before he desperately kisses her. She can't do anything, except kiss him back. It seems like the most natural thing to do, but she really knows why. She loves him.
After they rescue Baltar, she notices that they both are missing for a while. When they return, he smiles at he while the other cowers away, locking himself in the lab. She eyes him suspiciously, but can find nothing yet.
He climbs into her bunk every night, bringing warmth and something else with him. She curls against him, and they fit perfectly together. Memories from another lifetime come back in glimpses, of them doing this. She knows it's only a matter of time before the end for her is near.
She knows about them and their one God. But she can't help but pray to her Gods that she makes it through this time. Somehow, she suspects that he knows she hides a gun under her pillow. Somehow, she knows that he knows.
But she can't bring herself to do it. She loves him too much to do it. And she knows that she will die for it, only to live this over again. But he will be there in her next life too. And that gives her solace, despite the fact that she knows it will kill her again too.
"Cubit for your thoughts." He whispers into her ear, sending small shocks down her body.
"Just stuff." She avoids the question.
"Like what?" He brushes the hair away from her eyes, even as she is facing away from him.
"The future." She hears and feels his soft chuckle, and closes her eyes, as if feeling agony.
"Don't worry about that." He tells her, feeling his fingers trace flight paths along her bare stomach. So she doesn't.
Later, against the wall in his office, she realizes exactly what he done. Even as he brings her to the brink, she weeps. Her final days are here, and he knows it. He sinks to the floor with her, comforting her as best he can.
"How?" she asks. "How could you?"
"God has asked it of me." He answers.
"We both know what will happen once you do." She replies to that, holding him closer.
"I won't lose you." His grip becomes like a death grip, and she kisses his neck softly.
"You can't stop this. You will lose me, like all the others." Her hands are gentle and firm, and he knows that she loves him more than life itself.
"You will go on, like the others. But I might not. But you know, don't you?" she continues.
"Don't say that. We will be together again." He interrupts her, and looks into her eyes. He sees despair, hope, love, and duty. Tears are still welling over, making her beautiful, yet sad all at the same time.
"You've killed me all those other times. You will kill me now." Her gentle hands hold his face, even when he looks down in guilt.
"Come with me." He suddenly says, looking up. Her eyes are wide, with fear, shock and hesitation.
"I can't." She shakes her head defiantly. She knows what will happen if she agrees to do this.
"No." she repeats. He knows it's hopeless. It will be like all the other times he's asked this of her. The final moments are always bittersweet. In the moments before their death, they both know that they will meet again.
The nukes have been launched from the base ship. The vipers are either hit or destroyed by nukes or by raider.
They hold each other tight, his eyes open, while hers are closed in fear. At the last moment, she whispers "I'll be waiting." Then, white light.